When I was younger, the decision to serve a mission was an easier one. I mean, in Primary we always sang “I Hope They Call Me on a Mission.”  And when I was 15 I heard a friend’s homecoming talk and the Spirit told me, “You need to serve a mission.” I was so excited. I was like, “That’s a great idea, I don’t know why I didn’t make that decision sooner.” 

But, when I got older and the possibility of serving a mission became more real, fears and doubts about it became more real as well. I was like, “Well…maybe I don’t need to serve a mission. Maybe the Spirit changed His mind.” I have some mental health challenges that I was worried would prevent me from even being able to go. So I thought maybe that wouldn’t be the plan anymore. 

Much to my dismay, however, the Spirit had not, in fact, changed His mind. I still felt very strongly that I needed to serve a mission. When they changed the mission age for women right before my 18th birthday, I was on my knees every night asking God if I should still wait a year so I could finish therapy and go to college before my mission, or if I should put my mission papers in right then. The Spirit told me I needed to serve right away. 

That was terrifying. At that point, I was desperately hoping I would get called to a service mission, though I knew both proselyting and service missions would have their challenges. Still, I put my mission papers in, held my breath, and waited and waited and waited for that mission call to come. 

And it came. This past week, I was set apart as a service missionary to serve in the Missouri Independence mission. 

During my setting apart – as the realization that I was really doing this was starting to set in, along with some of those same fears I had before – two distinct images came to mind that I know were from the Spirit. 

The first was connected to the scripture Matthew 11:28-30, which says: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” I saw in my mind a yoke around my neck–the burdens, responsibilities, struggles, and pressures that would come with being a missionary. Then I saw my Savior beside me, yoked to me, helping me to lift my burden. 

The second image was of a rocky and steep path. Again, my Savior was standing beside me, taking my hand and helping to guide me over the path. 

Both those images brought unimaginable peace to my still-a-little-terrified heart. Yes, serving a mission may feel scary and nerve-wracking, but it doesn’t need to be, because you’re not doing it alone. Your Savior – during your whole life, but especially on your mission – will be walking beside you. 

That truth is not only what will help me serve my mission, it’s what made me want to serve a mission in the first place. My Savior is someone who, over the past few years, I have learned that I can trust with my whole heart. He will never abandon you, He will never betray you, He will never leave you to walk this life alone. He suffered the burden of your sins, pains, afflictions, and temptations, He is someone who has felt every uncertainty and fear you are facing. He’s felt what it’s like to get bruises and scrapes as you stumble over the rocky path called life, He knows what it’s like to have so many things on your plate you’re beginning to get crushed under the weight, He knows what it’s like to be surrounded by fog and not even know what the next step you should take is. He is standing beside you, waiting with open arms for you to turn to Him and accept His help. He is someone who has seen both your best and your worst, and He loves you anyway–He loves you with a perfect love, and He is prepared to help you rise above every trial.

If I, through my mission, can help even one person feel His love – whether through service or teaching the gospel – I will be overjoyed. It’s because of my Savior that I’m serving a mission. It’s because He came to Earth, suffered, bled, and died for me so that I could experience the joy of repentance, so that I could have someone I could turn to in all things, and so that I could return to my Father in Heaven. 1 John 4:19 says, “We love him, because he first loved us,” and it’s true. I love Him because He loved me first. Because He loved me even when I wasn’t sure He was there. He loved me even when I kept making the same mistakes over and over. He loved me my whole life, through the good and the bad and the hard. I couldn’t, with so much gratitude in my heart, deny the opportunity to follow His example. 

And for me, right now, that means serving a mission. I am so excited to do so.